Last time, we discussed why we need unity within the family. This time, I want to delve a little into how we can achieve that unity. To do this, we need to forget what the world as a whole tells us and work to emulate the example of Christ.
Obey the Commandments
Maybe the best place is to review the Commandments laid out in Exodus 20. The first four are in respect to our relationship with God.
"Have no other gods before me", "No graven images", "Don't take the name of the Lord in vain", and "Remember the Sabbath", all tell us to prioritize God in our lives. Doing so keeps us focused on what we need to do to find happiness. The gospel is like this guidebook which we can hold onto for a standard. Let go, and we may keep that direction for some time, but with time we will drift off to whatever is easier, more seductive, and more harmful in the long run. If we do not follow the first four, we are more likely to break the other commandments. Even if you have little or no belief in God, do what you can to hold onto integrity. You may work to clean up your tongue, or make sure you have a day of rest at least once a week where you rejuvenate yourself physically by resting, contacting extended family, limiting electronics, doing volunteer work, or prioritizing wholesome family activities.
"Honor your parents" is big. Right now, I have a teenage boy who is struggling with this. He is quick to mouth off, slow to apologize, and it often fills the home with an air of contention. Overall, he is a good kid (honor roll, athletic, honest, doesn't abuse any substance) But personally, I am struggling to find answers on how to deal with him being a jerk to me and my wife. This leads me to my next commandment:
"Don't kill" is a no brainer, but we are all guilty of killing someone in our hearts. Do you carry wrath around you? Are you slow to forgive, or are we quick tempered? I find it so funny how we are able to put on a good face at work, or at school, but are quick tempered with our kids. Please, take a little time to slow your anger and come at situations win a stoic manner rather than being hot-headed. We may have someone in our family who get off on ticking others off, starting fights, and creating contention. Do the best you can. "A soft answer turneth away wrath" Keep in mind, someone else has no power to "make you anger", that is a decision you make yourself.
"Don't commit adultery", like killing is a no brainer. Sure, cheating on your spouse is immoral, but there are many levels to this, and we are all guilty of breaking this commandment to some degree. Today's society says that porn, and PMS (pre-marital sex) is just fine. Given the number of broken families, broken homes, disease, and rampant immorality today, it certainly is doing a number on our society. This is a big reason I dwell on this topic, whether the "old sluts" series, or many articles discussing the carousel, sleeping around does tremendous damage to our future families. If you are never planning to have a family, it may be different, but there are still consequences. Porn is a huge issue in modern families. If done too much, you may end up comparing your aging wife to the hot, young models which only exist for us on a computer screen. Be appreciative of what you do have.
"Don't Steal" seems fairly straight forward. But with all types of sin, there are many subtle ways we can break this. Don't break into someone's house and take their TV is one, but there is also padding your hours at work, snitching the last jelly doughnut, or taking too long in the shower and having the water run cold on your wife. All of this leaves someone feeling like they did not get a fair shake, and will build resentment
"Don't Lie"....Honesty goes a long way in building trust within the home. If we are with someone who has integrity, we are comfortable when they are away, we will be far happier with them then if we feel like they are going to screw us over the first chance they get. For women, this especially means not having "no fault" divorces, or falsifying paternity results. Such a breech of trust is a major reason men are checking out of the relationship market entirely. Such viscous acts of betrayal are life altering, and will mark you for the rest of your life, and often permanently wound those you betrayed.
"Don't covet" is kind of an interesting one. To covet means to long for something else that you do not have. It may be your buddy's hot wife, his new four wheeler, or the amount of time he has off. Regardless, this builds resentment and unhappiness with the things you have. If within the home, you may resent your wife for not working as much, or the friends she has. Regardless, it will build resentment and possibly hostility within your home. It may lead you to cheat, or to other types of sin. Be content with what you do have, and you two will grow closer together.
There are many other commandments, like the Golden Rule, the two great commandments, and to minimize drug use, but these are the big ones. If you follow these, you will be able to draw closer as a family, closer to God, and be better able to have the influence of the Holy Spirit in your life.
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