What is "Strong" in a strong independent woman?

I always got to ask, "What do you mean by strong?". To me, it seems like women conflate "strong" with having power. Personally, that does not excite me at all. A good relationship with two people needs two roles, the alpha and the beta. Whether you are working with your boss, in a friend dynamic with the guys, or in a relationship, there is usually someone who rises up to the top. A good leader will be able to get others to follow without coercion or ordering others around.

In any natural healthy relationship, the leadership role will gravitate to the competent, rather than by brute force or coercion. Whether you decide with your friends to go to a certain bar, or your wife follows your lead on the plans for the weekend, they are following the agreeable "beta" role, with is good to do. Being agreeable in that manner is not "weak", it is being cooperative and pleasant. If you come home and she is cooking dinner, you ask where you could help, and you are taking the beta role as you peel carrots, but it is in a positive manner.

However, where a relationship becomes unhealthy is when the natural "Alpha" role is usurped through manipulation, force, or some other form of coercion. You come home and your wife barks orders at you, threatens to withhold sex, or manipulates you in some other way, she is not "strong" or Alpha, you are not following her lead because she is more competent, you are being used. The power they are wielding in that manner has tension behind it, and will strain the relationship.

Feminism is the application of the Marxist oppressor/oppressed theory applied to the battle of the sexes. With that, there is a continuous unhealthy power struggle between men and women. There will be that tension when your incompetent spouse is trying to prove she is "strong" by nagging, when in fact, she is just a wench.

Same goes for you as a man. Always having to be right or barking orders does not make you competent, Alpha or an effective leader. It will make you a jerk. Learn to become competent wherever you can, and use your skills to foster true admiration and discipleship with your friends, family, and coworkers, that is true strength.